The music industry seems to be even more complex with each passing week.  How do they even keep track of “sales” anymore?  What is a “sale”.  To help the nerds make sense of it all, music historian Alan Cross pops by the Flimm building to discuss that, as well as the birthday of David Bowie, and just where the audience participation lyrics in Billy Idol’s “Mony Mony” might have come from.

Did you get a new tv over the holiday?  If you did, it’s likely to be outdated in just a few months.  Then again you probably already knew that.  The CES show is just around the corner and TVs will be front and center as some of the biggest names in electronics converge on Las Vagas to show their wares.  But as the nerds reveal, the CES itself is on the verge of needing some life support of its own.

So if you’re a big producer of beverages like,…oh… let’s say PepsiCo for example, and some guy sues you for finding a mouse in his Mountain Dew, what would your best argument be?  Let’s hope it was better than Pepsi’s actual defense which is…. well, listen and judge for yourself.

All that plus, Microsoft helps you avoid the “ghetto”, Crashboy learns who the f*@k Cee lo Green is, and how Facebook can help you even after you’re dead.

While on the subject of kids, the boy peruse a list of things you probably believed as a kid.  It turns out that Art still believes your face “will freeze that way”.  However, the nerds show their somewhat warped side by each revealing one unique thing they believed as a child. (hint, they involve witches and tar)

Do you know what you’re getting your mom for Christmas?  If not, just pop on over to “The Giftinator”, a flow chart from the folks at Mashable that lets you pick mom’s perfect gift depending on her degree of tech savvy.  Its fatal flaw?…. assuming mom’s have a degree of tech savvy.

Good news for the boys…. a new study this week reveals that swearing is actually good for you, or at least good for relieving  pain.  The release of the foul word seems to also release pain within your body.  All this can be found within the awesomely titled professional publication, the “Journal Of Pain” (yes, it actually exists) (yes, we looked it up)

All that plus, what’s a ringtone?… what’s object permanence , and what the hell is “daddy butter”.  All on the special Christmas edition of Lesser Nerds

So now that Steve Jobs is no longer with us, it’s time for pop culture to deify him.  And what better way than with a by the number bio pic.  Of course that leads to the inevitable question of casting, and it turns out the folks behind the project were big fans of early E.R episodes.

Have you ever wondered if hair color was related to people’s fear of going to the dentist?  If so, (firstly, you need to get out more) then you’ll be interested in a study that found redheads actually have a greater fear of getting drilled.  That  thanks to a study out of the University of We Should Probably Be Using Our Money To Research More Important Stuff Than This.

All that plus, what camera Annie Leibovitz wants you to have, the “fourth Jason Bourne movie”, and this week’s Ask Art puts our world renowned advice columnist in a tight spot.

But the memories remain…. steak dinners, dirty martinis, burlesque entertainers dressed as bad guys from Dr. Who.  The boys discuss the full resurgence of the fine art of taking your clothes off in public, as well as a demographic breakdown of the audience one might find in such events.

Speaking of demographic breakdowns, the big birthday weekend also gave us a first hand look at the difference between iPhone users and Android users, since Crashbrother came along for the trip and brought his Google progeny with him.  The nerds were forced to admit it ran circles around their iPhones (in some departments).  One thing the android doesn’t do however is monitor your sleep to wake you up at the proper time.  Then again, Crashboy spent $100 clams to discover the iphone doesn’t either, which leads to a discussion on how the tech world might very well help you catch a few of those long overdue Zs.

How long has Scientific American been around?  Long enough that the first issue featured a cover article on the “latest locomotive”.  The lads geek out to the retro blogging styles of the first ever issue of the respected publication.  It will be interesting to see what they have to say about any upcoming missions to Mars.  They certainly have more to write about now that a group of Russians have emerged from their year and a half isolation to train for an upcoming mission to the red planet.  This time, they made it through the entire 500 days without any booty call based fisticuffs.

All that plus, Art’s next meat thermometer, Andy Rooney’s greatest hits, and Ask Art provides a number one answer to a number two dilemma.

“Quite strange.”

Bravo good sir!  Of course, the Bill had a few other things to say, including his take on Occupy Wall Street, and why you might want to get a drop cloth for your retinas.

Have you ever thought Uranus was boring? (don’t go there)  Scientist have for years thought it was pretty much the most boring planet in our solar system.  Not any more.  Certainly not after a series of explosions the size of Texas shook the blue planet last week.  What caused the explosions remains a mystery.  One mystery that did get solved this week is who exactly was responsible for the six foot Lego man who washed up on a Florida beach recently.

L.N. producer Ellen Smithee talked to the nerds recently about bringing a more.. balanced voice into the Flimm building.  Thus the welcome appearance of author and geekette Amber MacArthur who stops by to tell us why we’re never going to get a “dislike” button, and whether or not she really was in Girl Scouts.

CNN would never run with a misleading headline, would they?  If they say “Netflix takes up 32.7% of Internet bandwidth”, you can trust it’s really true, yes?  Well,……. no.  The nerds dissect that claim and in doing so discover the pros and cons of the popular streaming service.

All that plus, how Steve Jobs drove without a license plate, grown up goths, and what exactly the name of this week’s episode refers to.  All on Siri’s favorite podcast, Lesser Nerds.

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Art got himself a fancy new iPhone.  But rather than waiting in line for 12 hours, he just kinda slept in, called the store and popped down.  So now it’s time for the nerds to test out Siri, Apple’s fancy new voice controlled assistant.  Perhaps we could ask it what the future of R.I.M. is after last week’s global meltdown.  Crashboy gives us a look at the bleak future of the Canadian company.

If you think there was no really big battery news last week, well think again! (also, please get out more)  The Japanese used the post tsunami reality to reinvent the Ni-Mh rechargeable battery.  And if that wasn’t enough, the big car companies came together in a rare moment of harmony, and announced they would all use the same charging system for their electric cars.

All that plus, Saddam’s porn kidnapping problem, sweaters for penguins, and we ask the age old question – cheese, or font?

Of all the viral videos that made their way into the Flimm building this week, nothing tickled the nerds more than the viral sensation of four year old Ferris finding out who Luke Skywalker’s father really is.  (spoiler alert – it’s another character in the film)  This leads Crashboy to share a little bit of B roll love with us.  Confused?  You won’t be.

If you listened to last week’s show, you know all about the high tech ways you can scare your neighbors this Halloween.  This week we ease up on the gadgetry to show you a simple mirror that does the job for a fraction of the price.  And while on the topic of All Hallow’s Eve, the nerds look at a new movement to spread the Lord’s good word in October 31st, and the reasons why that might just be a tad hypocritical.

If you’ve been to London lately, you might be one of the people who noticed that Big Ben isn’t quite as… erect as he used to be.  Tourists began pointing out Ben’s increasing flaccid quotient to the powers that be in Westminster, and it turns out they were right.  (Well, even though Big Ben isn’t really the name for the tower, but we know what they meant)

All that plus, Andorra is a real country, the odd reasons leaves turn red in the fall, and an Ask Art Double Shot Flashback.©

The nerds are back, and the Flimm building is buzzing with excitement! (or that’s just the fluorescent tube that custodian Brian never got around to replacing)

We dive right in to the new season with a look at how the future is supposed to be…. according to some famous films.  Art catches Crashboy off guard by confessing a less than affectionate attitude towards a sci fi classic.

And speaking of sci fi classics, it looks like George Lucas had a busy summer.  Not only did he green light a new home building in Singapore that actually looks like a cool and interesting idea, he also released the Star Wars trilogy on Blu-ray.  Gee, it makes you wonder if he made any changes in the films.  Naw, he wouldn’t do that, would he?

Steve Jobs didn’t have the best summer.  On the positive side though, his biological father wants to meet him.  Leading the nerds to both ask the burning question…. “Wait… Steve Jobs is adopted?!”  He is indeed, and his background may surprise you.  You may also be caught off guard when Crashboy introduces us to ten myths about the U.S. space program.

Did you know men have a cycle, just like the ladies?  Well, neither did we.  The nerds poke holes in the claim that we get grumpy every 33 days.

All that plus, Carrie Fisher aims to get back in her Leia bikini on the season premiere of Lesser Nerds.

If a company from Puerto Rico gets its way, we could be seeing iris scan technology in a lot more machines, including your cell phone.  But as one of the nerds points out, the chances of Minority Report becoming reality are not quite as close as some may think.  What is close however is using your cell phone as your wallet.  And if you doubt it, just ask the folks in New York and San Francisco who will be able to pay for goods using only their cell phone starting this summer.  The nerds do have one question however…. How?

Long time fans of LN will be familiar with the dulcet tones of Wired.com’s geek dad, Ken Denmead.  After all, he dropped by the studio last season for a chat about his new book.  Well, it’s deja vu all over again, as Ken joins the nerds for a chat about his follow up book, and his refreshingly candid answer to the question of why exactly he wrote it.

All that plus, the sandwich in a can, why Microsoft kinda likes Android, and an Ask Art that will have you wondering “How safe is my porn?”

But it’s not all fun and games on the show this week… after all, this week brought the death of Osama Bin Laden. (ok, maybe it IS all fun and games)  The nerds look at the pros and cons of being behooved to bury the bad guy with brevity, and stand in awe at the man who apparently live tweeted the attack on Bin Laden’s compound not knowing that’s what was going on.  At the same time, they examine the possible reasons that Superman recently decided to announce his U.S. citizenship.  And no, it wasn’t to get free Canadian health care.

Internet porn is changing the way we actually process sexual desire, at least that’s the claim of a new book being released this week.  After all, when the menu is so wide and varied, chances are you’re more likely to find something you really really really like.  Maybe they could come up with a piece of software that tells you what you like, in the same way they came up with a piece of software that tells you is a dirty joke is funny.  Yes, THIS is what we need our technology to focus on in these dark times…. does a “That’s what she said” joke actually work comically.

Did you watch the Royal Wedding?  It turns out the nerds did.  Well, a bit.  But mostly just to see how hot Kate Middleton’s sister, Pippa is.  We put our LN spin on the royal nuptials and look at why the family jammed cellphones one the big day.  Maybe they were the ones jamming Disney’s wifi as well.

Do you have  TomTom GPS?  If you do, there’s a chance Big Brother has some data about you thanks to the company’s policy of selling their GPS data to the law enforcement community.  It turns out one of TomTom’s sources of revenue has been to approach the cops with data collected from their system.

All that plus, dueling camera apps, how to find your stolen camera online (sort of), and a very transparent Ask Art.

Have Will and Kate signed a prenup?  Although a high profile legal firm is heartily suggesting they should (surprise, surprise), no one seems to know.  But with the big day fast approaching, the nerds look at the rumors and discuss the pros and cons of the happy couple planning ahead for their tabloid years.  Perhaps Kate is even planning ahead to the years of wrinkled cleavage.  Well, she need not worry.  All she has to do is grab herself the new La Decollete Sleeping Beauty bra, which promises to give leering men a smoother playing surface when they steal a glance.

Ahhh, those hands free faucets.  Thank goodness they’re here protecting us all from disease.  Not so fast says a study out of Australia.  It turns out those faucets are actually carrying MORE disease.  How?  The nerds investigate.   And while going over recent studies, they also delve into the one that shockingly claims Facebook to be a catalyst for narcissism. Who would have thought!

All that plus, an iPhone 5 rumor roundup, Art’s wise words of advice for the stripper community, and a painful look at Charlie Sheen’s less than accurate torpedo of truth.  All on Chuck Lorre’s favorite podcast, Lesser Nerds.

The iPad 2 seems to have some serious muscle.  So much so that it’s even beating current Macbooks!  The nerds take a peek under the hood, and Crashboy gloats at the depth of his Cupertino connections.  And speaking of Cupertino, what genius made iPhone clocks go BACK an hour on the weekend instead of forward.  The nerds speculate this was less a technical glitch than it was human error.

And while you have your iphone in your hand, why not completely waste 99 cents like the nerds did, and download an app that attempts to put some fun into your bedroom, but instead puts some space to waste on your hard drive.

You would think a legendary history figure would have a bit more respect given to him, rather than having one of his most important parts go missing.  But King Tut’s penis is nowhere to be found.  And no one can agree on how, or even when, it went missing.

All that plus, what the hell does ‘SOT!” mean, Ask Art delved into the delicate world of personal grooming, and why Wisconsin’s union fight has found its way into a legendary little blue pill.

But there are lighter topics to get to this week.  For example, what kind of iPhone user are you?  The fanboy?  The complainer?  The nerds look at a chart and find out they might occasionally want to have something else in the palm of their hand.  Then again, now that Apple looks to be incorporating an easy new way to pay for stuff using only your smartphone, it might be increasingly hard to put that thing down.

The smartphone also appears to have changed the face of the sex trade.  It seems lawyers aren’t the only professionals who overwhelmingly favor the Blackberry… ladies of the night are also getting the most out of their RIM products.  Not only that, half of their client referrals are coming from…. Facebook.

Got Rockmelt?  Art’s a big fan of the new social network inspired browser.  Crashboy however is still reluctant to let go of his beloved Firefox.  So Art goes outside the box this week and talks to Eric Vishria one of the founders of Rockmelt to see exactly how the browser plans to comfortably get itself into an already crowded field.    Will it be trickier now that the world has run out of IP addresses?  That’s the word this week out of ICANN.  The cupboard is bare, the well is dry, there’s no room at the inn, and there are no more IPs to give.  So….. why is no one panicking?

All that plus, stitching together the entire McBain movie, the woman who returned a dog because Martha Stewart would have objected, and how one man and 30 litres of beer beat the odds, the reaper, and a metric ass ton of snow.  All on the official podcast of something really important and prestigious, Lesser Nerds.

Crashboy seems to have found a new passion, and it’s Hey Tell, the push to talk instant voice messaging service for the iPhone.  We give it a try to see if it actually has real world applications, or is the app equivalent of the fondue pot.  Then we look at some people who have way too much time on their hands: first up, the scientists who decided to turn a gene off in mice to make them more aggressive, and then, the physics nerd who fully calculated the planetary specs of Azeroth and determined the planet from World Of Warcraft has a diameter of exactly…. 8 miles! (Coincidentally, also the closest he’s been to a girl)

It wouldn’t be an episode of LN without a brief mention of Facebook.  This week saw a rather optimistic study out of the University of Texas which speculates the social media giant actually makes us MORE social offline, not less.  The nerds discuss exactly what this means, as well as how Texans define the word “social”

All that plus, cars that talk to each other, Samsung’s less that fabulous Galaxy, and yet another difficult week for the world’s unluckiest man!

This week Art tells us about a Michigan couple whose marital unhappiness has reached such heights, the husband is currently facing hacking charges for reading her email.  And in the vein of tech problems, Crashboy shares the absolute worst part of coming home for Christmas.

Do you know what an earworm is?  No no, not the Chekov kind, the music kind.  One company thinks they have an online cure for that song stuck in your head.  The nerds find it might create more problems than it cures though.  Maybe the song is an old children’s ditty you remember from your kindergarten days.  You know, the one they payed the copy write fees for?  What?? Your kindergarten didn’t pay fees for the songs it used in class??!!  You must not be from Germany then.  That’s the country where you’ll find the piracy police currently patrolling the tiny desks and chairs of the classroom for any infringements.

All that plus, Art gloats over two accurate predictions, pirates just can’t get enough of naked blue people, and some of the weirdest news stories of 2010.  All on the epic, viral, wow factor podcast of mama grizzlies and the American people, Lesser Nerds.

Best Buy executive Brian Dunn didn’t seem so smart this week…. He said iPads were stealing over 50% of the laptop market. Then he said they weren’t.  Then he said he misspoke.  (It’s kinda complicated.)  Have you heard of this “Face Book”?  It’s all the rage with the kids apparently, and there seems to be a movie about it coming out next week.  But there WON’T be a Facebook phone it appears, a development that brings no tears to the cheeks of the nerds.  Crashboy shines a light on the fact that HIV has been around for thousands of years, and Art takes the editors of the New York Times to task for an egregious headline error.  Just imagine how he’ll be when he gets older and doesn’t give a damn what he says anymore!

All this plus… Borat as Freddie Mercury, listener feedback, some helpful tips on what to do when a part of your body falls off, and just who is that wearing the Lesser Nerds shirt?!  All on the official podcast of the autumnal equinox, Lesser Nerds.

The Roomba however is most definitely a robot… a robot that needs to watch its back, now that it’s getting some high tech competition.

What happens when you die in space?  More specifically, what happens to your body?  Mary Roach tells us the process is sort of a cross between freeze drying coffee and shaking up brown sugar to get rid of the lumps.

Also this week, Art tells us why having “antidisestablishmentarianism” as your super mega password might not help you after all, and Crashboy shows us the real numbers behind women in technology.

Facebook and Apple seem to be having a falling out over Apple’s new “Ping” service, and surprisingly enough, it’s not because of its unbelievably stupid name.

All that plus, live tweeting a heart attack, naked people on iPhones, and what exactly is a “plushie.”  All on the commemorative Sept 8, 2010 edition of Lesser Nerds

We start this season in Japan, where odd relationships continue to be par for the course.  Yes, Japan… the only place where you can go to a resort to spend time with your virtual girlfriend.  Something the nerds know nothing about.

Turns out Art didn’t even know that Firefox has a “private browsing” feature… something that seems to spike at certain times of the day.  Hmmm, why might that be?  Maybe people are just updating their Facebook.  After all, Facebook seems to be feeding into a trend of narcissism, and you wouldn’t want anyone to know about that.  Otherwise you might end up like the man in charge of Apple’s rigid anti-porn stance, who was outed for following escorts on his Twitter feed (never has the “twit” been so appropriate).

Delving into the world of tech this week, we look at Nike, who applied for a patent in the self lacing sneakers from Back To The Future, even though they didn’t show up on the list of The 50 Greatest Technological Inventions of the Past 25 Years.  Then again, neither did the Commodore 64, and it still seems to have its fair share of devoted followers.

And we close out this week’s show by talking to tech guru Carmy Levy on RIM’s really really bad summer, and whether the Blackberry will survive.

All this, plus the Cami Secret, and listener feedback on the season premiere of the world’s most cuddly podcast, Lesser Nerds.

So this week’s season finale is jam packed with goodness.  For example, did you hear the one about the guy who guessed the exact price correctly on “The Price Is Right”  Turns out, working as a weatherman has more upsides than one would imagine.  And for those of you who think “The Price is Right” is only watched by old people, well, you might want to keep an eye on those same people on Facebook… The site still has no good way of dealing with people when they die.  And it’s bound to happen.  Especially if they heed the billboard now on display in New Jersey encouraging old people to kill themselves. (then again, they’re living in New Jersey, so it’s not a bad idea)  And speaking of old people who should think about assisted suicide, how about that Dick Cheney!

We also revisit the topic of electric cars, now that GM is making the smart decision to guarantee its electric car batteries for longer than their gas powered cousins!  So you and your cougar girlfriend can go to make out point all you want, especially now that scientists have tried to explain what makes a cougar a cougar.

All that plus, what the hell is a QR code,  how much is Marilyn Monroe’s death house going for, and one more Ask Art for the road.  All on the season finale of Lesser Nerds.

iPad’s love to be held too, and this week finds Crashboy enamored of a new magical iPad app that has the nerds pondering where books end and video games begin.

Iceland has had it’s fair share of face time this year, and it looks like they’re going to get a little more, seeing as how they just elected a TV comedian who was a joke candidate.  (His first order of business…. build a Disneyworld at the airport)

And this week we also look at artificial body parts: firstly on Oscar the cat who became the world’s first bionic cat by undergoing successful intraosseous transcutaneous amputation prosthetics surgery. (say that three times fast)  And secondly on Sarah Palin who seems to have decided there’s a direct correlation between her chances in 2012 and her cup size.

All that, plus, (hopefully)… the death of vajazzling.

All that plus, the freakonomic side of The Club, Lesser Nerds updates on Dr. Demento and our vajazzlers, and Art goes on yet another rant, this time at the expense of new age bookstores.  All on the favourite podcast of the Cameroon football team, Lesser Nerds.

Then, it’s time to scratch our heads at the continuing bad behavior by one of our heretofore fave companies, Apple.  It seems the cops who busted down the door of the lost iPhone blogger were working at Apple’s behest. (In related news, cigarettes cause cancer, and Ricky Martin is gay.)

Following up on last week’s discussion, the nerds look at a site that playfully tells you how crappy your Facebook privacy setting are, and take the social network to task over their pathetic new security features.

And if that wasn’t enough, Art rails yet again about our culture of fear, as Crashboy brings us up to date on how people could actually hack your car. (and why they would even want to)  All that, plus our Geek Dad book winners,  why ICBMs have to fly so damned high, and in a listener suggested vajazzling update, the nerds scale the heights of awkwardness with a discussion of kagel.  All on this week’s edition of Lesser Nerds.

And that’s when things start to get a bit creepy… Crashboy introduces us to the Florida airport security worker who took a riot baton to his co workers after they made fun of his … riot baton.  Then Art takes us into the depths of the interweb to view the dubious offerings at “Crabrevenge“.  And if that wasn’t enough, both the nerds get the willies at the latest offering on ThinkGeek, the “Tell Me Your Secrets” Bear.

To make up for the creepiness, we look at Cupidtino, the new dating site for Mac heads, and marvel at the creator of a YouTube baby announcement video, who somehow managed to sneak away from his video editing software just long enough to create a few kids.

Plus, why you should quit Facebook, real life porn parodies, why Gilligan’s Island may not be as shallow as you thought, and what exactly is the beef train? (no, it’s not that).  All that and more on the official podcast of ROFLCon, Lesser Nerds.

If that tomato is a bunter and not a gasser, you’d be a Harvey not to make it Endsville, Charley

Chances are, you have no idea what the hell that sentence means — Lord knows, we didn’t. Well it’s a good thing you tuned in this week, so you can get up to speed on your Sinatra-speak.  And in honour of the Chairman himself, it’s bad-ass week here high atop the Flimm Building.  Not being particularly bad ass ourselves, we are happy to bask in the glow of others’ bad assery. First, we take a look at a Cambodian man with perhaps the worst job in the world… poking land mines with a stick.  Tell that to the pilots who have to be the first to fly through the Icelandic volcano cloud.

Of course, we all know these are things Chuck Norris does each day before breakfast, right?  Which got the nerds thinking: where exactly did all these Chuck Norris jokes come from?  Was there a starting point for all this craziness?  Well, a few emails and Skype calls later, we got our answer.

( His name is Ian.)

Now that many of us carry the Internet in our pockets, it seems interactions have changed somewhat, no?  We have a look at 10 things the Internet has killed (and five things it hasn’t), as well as the list of acceptable ways to whip out your smart phone in public.  Besides, what exactly are iPhones good for?  After all, people are dropping prototype 4G versions in bars.  Fortunately, Steve Jobs may not be paying too much attention, seeing as how he’s now trying to worm his way in to the concert ticket business.  We look at Apple’s latest move, as well as the questionable reasons CNN decided this week to report on “friends with benefits.”

Plus, defining “erotic capital,” why it’s fashionable to stick wax up your nose, and what John Cleese spent $5000 on this week (it wasn’t a dead parrot).  All that and more, on “Betty White’s favorite podcast” — Lesser Nerds.

But nooooooo.  This week they venture into the friendly wilds of the great white north to take in a screening of Hot Tub Time Machine with a gaggle of Canadian listeners. The post film festivities got a bit crazy however and led to a vajazzling bet between two listeners. (the results of which can be seen on this page)

In more serious news however, this week we examine the hidden dangers of Facebook.  Sure, you may be able to see what your second girlfriend looks like these days, but what about people breaking into your place and t’iefin’ your stuff?  More importantly… what about syphilis!? Fortunately, not a big problem in Iceland anymore, seeing as how the tiny nation this week banned stripteases.  It’s almost enough to give a guy erectile dysfunction!  Good thing we take a trip into the museum of erectile dysfunction where Art discovers the joys of radium and bees. (you probably don’t want to know)

Crashboy also uses  Hot Tub Time Machine as an excuse  to say a few words to his old high school buddy Rob Corddry, who retweeted us this week, yet didn’t make it to the Flimm building in time to be on the big show.  Maybe he was preparing for the future California… one where Miss Mary Jane is not quite as illegal as it has been.

Plus, we revisit those crazy Japanese, iPhone gaming, and why being a Bond girl may not be the best career move.
Last week’s results:

Then we go REALLY down under where we meet Matt — an Aussie who loves the show so much he’s willing to be our intern for a while, despite the somewhat arduous commute between the Flimm Building and Swinburne University. Art relates his loathing for skiing, but he and Crashboy both profess love for Hipstamatic, the app that will turn your iPhone into a 70′s era toy camera. Ah, the days of cool bygone tech…. unlike Google who are trying to inch their way into your living room by getting into the TV business. The nerds debate whether Google and Sony will keep you on the couch. Good thing they don’t do that on Facebook!

Speaking of which, the big show now has its own Facebook fan page! Slide on over and join. We promise we won’t spam the crap out of you.

Plus, what a happy meal looks like after a year on the shelf. And we ask the age old question… what would YOU do for five bucks?

All on the St. Augustine of Hippo edition of Lesser Nerds.

Speaking of greasy salesmen, it turns out companies are bidding on advertising to YOU,.. in real time on the interweb!  Welcome to the brave new world of instant ads…  not quite like it was back in Mad Men times.  Good thing you can now get yourself a genuine limited edition Mad Men doll (Christina Hendricks actual measurements not included)

The Nerds wonder what Google thinks of Apple’s 120,000 iPad preorders. And remember a few weeks back when the nerds had a good chuckle at Amazon’s expense for suggesting Astro Glide lube to shoppers buying bulk communion wafers?  Turns out, that was just the tip of the iceberg!

Plus, Ask Art this week poses the age old question,… what’s better – real Star Wars, or Family Guy Star Wars?  The answer might surprise you.  And we give full props to the fine folks at edgypodcastreviews.com, who apparently thought we were kinda keen.  Plus why James Brown’s body is missing… all on the special St. Swithun’s Day edition of Lesser Nerds.

The subsequent discussion shows Art’s ignorance, although he’s not dumb enough to have any interest in the stupidly named “Tiger Text”, an app for cheating spouses.

By the way, if you actually read this write up every week, it may be a sign you are addicted to the internet.  Good thing the medical community is now actually considering making your compunction an actual disease!  Too late for the winner of Apple’s billionth download contest however, who actually got a congrats call from Steve Jobs….. and didn’t believe it!

The nerds also find themselves this week with a bit of an Olympic hangover.  And what better way to cure it than with… pole dancing??  We also look at the time frame for NASA to cross James Cameron with George Lucas … on the surface of the moon.  And speaking of Star Wars (have we mentioned Star Wars in the podcast before), seems the fightin’ Rebs at old Miss aren’t too fond of the possibility their new mascot might be Admiral Ackbar

And if all that wasn’t enough for one show…. Crashboy foams at the mouth over the upcoming Max Headroom DVD, plus we give you a vajazzling update.

Why? Because we care.

We have a look at some revealing statistics from our old friends at IJustMadeLove.com, telling us that Valentine’s Day is a largely North American phenomenon (using a condom however… not so much).

We also travel back in time to the Victorian era to have a look at the steam powered vibrator! No, we’re not making that up.

Art discovers that “chatroulette” is not in fact a French dish, but rather a place where you can go to “play” with friends online, while Crashboy fills us in on how many oranges it takes to power an Apple.

If you’re singing karaoke in the Philippines, the nerds advise you to stay away from Sinatra.  But if you’re pushing 50 and have an impossibly small waist, the nerds advise you to pursue a career in IT.

And if that wasn’t enough, we get a visit from the founders and brains behind textsfromlastnight.com who drop by the Lesser Nerds studio high atop the Flimm building, despite being hungover from a Valentine’s Day filled with bowling.

All that, plus what Yakov Smirnnoff is up to these days… on our Valentine’s day edition of Lesser Nerds.

We also learn exactly why  Bioshock is Crashboy’s favourite game ever. (second place – Pong)  Plus, spray on glass and why Comic book Guy will probably be getting an iPad.

For the first, we go to Austria to speak with Gordo and Walter the creators of the Web 2.0 Suicide machine, who give us an update on when and how they’ll break through Facebook’s attempt to block them.

Then Art has a few words for the haters who think it’s pointless telling everyone you’re wearing a leopard skin bra as a way to raise awareness of breast cancer.

Crashboy tells us how to win a fistfight, drive a stick, and a few more of the 50 things everyone should know how to do.

Fortunately “Fight off an attacking shark” is no longer one of them since scientists are now getting sharks to text them when they come too close to shore.

We also discuss the quick appearance and disappearance of the trailer for The A-Team, and why Crashboy spent most of his summers in a rural hippie love cult.  And if you think we made it through an entire episode without linking sex and Star Wars… think again.

Plus, Ask Art, Uncle Leo, and a preview or our upcoming special Live on Location episode!

Meanwhile, Crashboy continues to prove himself the brains of the operation by filling us in of what exactly gerontology is, while Art waxes poetic about the new German study declaring staring at breasts is good for you!  Too bad he’s too clueless to know what vaporware is.  The nerds bid adieu to Duke Nukem, who finally bit the dust this year, but declare 2010 the year of the tablet!  We preen at the rather unusual fact that if you google “C3PO fleshlight“, Lessernerds will figure prominently, and in discussing the potential dangers of sex toys, we learn the difference between a “doo doo” and a “hoo haw”.

Finally, the nerds go into the etymological differences between the words “geek” and “nerd”, and in doing so, discover why a psych professor at Bennington is probably both.

We look at the “Twoddler”, a stunning and promising new technology that will be obsolete by the time you read this. If so, it will join the list of everyday things that have become extinct over the last decade.

Art Carlson confesses his desire to get an ultraviolet tattoo, while Crashboy reciprocates by confessing his crush on the girl who builds Millennium Falcon beds (the show’s not called “Lesser Nerds” for nothing).

We also look at rhinos, cougars and swine flu. Just in time for the holidays!

Crash Boy explains to a very bewildered Art how Apple will use it’s upcoming Tablet to bring back the 70s – vinyl album art and all.

Future humans: we discuss four ways we may – or may not evolve – or devolve: and continue to take potshots at Japanese culture by examining the marriage of a Japanese nerd to his virtual girlfriend.

Crash Boy fills us in on why his Call Of Duty disc is now making a lovely coaster.  And, in an early Christmas act of kindness, we show you why this podcast is your first source for new internet sex fads.

Plus: we find out if driving around with a cuppa joe on your roof is a chick magnet. Roof coffee cup guy pulls over during his morning commute to talk to The Nerds.

No matter how big a fan I will ever be of Kevin Smith, I will never be as big a fan of Kevin Smith as Kevin Smith is of Kevin Smith.

Please make sure you clear your Google search history before your wife comes home. Crashboy gives a crash course in Google Voice and why it may be scary. The nerds do good in the world by discussing breast movement, and catch up with a 21st century hobo stealing someone’s WiFi. Michael Jackson hated Thriller? Art insists his voice doesn’t need Autotune. And we ask, “what’s an ass burger?”

00:00 – The boys can’t pronounce a syndrome highlighted on The Amazing Race. Does this mean they’ve got it, too? And why Kevin Smith is an ass.

05:10 – I Am T-Pain is a pain in the ass, and Art insists it doesn’t do squat for him.

06:48 – Bouncing Canadian breasts. Google search results here. One of the boys insists he hasn’t had a finger up his butt… and the other suggests he might enjoy it.

11:35 – Two words: Cordless toothbrush

12:50 – Michael Jackson: Thriller is c**p

14:28 – Google App for iPhone, and why Apple shit a brick

17:55 – Two hours of pushin’ brooms, Josh Sullivan of 52 Friends insists he’s not gettin’ any during his Kerouac-esque year-long road trip and tells the boys about a scary experience with one of the hosts who let ‘em sleep on their couch for a week.

24:02 – Jedi says Tesco discriminated against him

26:43 – Art answers your questions, admits to a sexually transmitted threepeat

]]> http://www.lessernerds.com/2009/09/episode4/feed/ 0 52 Friends,Amazing Race,App Store,Apple,Asperger's Syndrome,autotune,breasts,cancer,Google,Google Voice,hobo,iPhone I can explain it in a simple phrase: cordless toothbrush. No matter how big a fan I will ever be of Kevin Smith, I will never be as big a fan of Kevin Smith as Kevin Smith is of Kevin Smith. Please make sure you clear your Google search history befor... Crashboy gives a crash course in Google Voice and why it may be scary. The nerds do good in the world by discussing breast movement, and catch up with a 21st century hobo stealing someone's WiFi. Michael Jackson hated Thriller? Art insists his voice doesn't need Autotune. And we ask, "what's an ass burger?" 00:00 - The boys can't pronounce a syndrome highlighted on The Amazing Race. Does this mean they've got it, too (http://en.wikipedia.org/wiki/Asbergers_syndrome)? And why Kevin Smith is an ass. 05:10 - I Am T-Pain is a pain in the ass (http://iamtpain.smule.com/), and Art insists it doesn't do squat for him. 06:48 - Bouncing Canadian breasts. Google search results here. One of the boys insists he hasn't had a finger up his butt... and the other suggests he might enjoy it. 11:35 - Two words: Cordless toothbrush 12:50 - Michael Jackson: Thriller is c**p (http://www.contactmusic.com/news.nsf/story/jackson-hated-thriller-album_1117300) 14:28 - Google App for iPhone, and why Apple shit a brick (http://bits.blogs.nytimes.com/2009/09/18/google-says-apple-flatly-rejected-voice-app-for-iphone/) 17:55 - Two hours of pushin' brooms, Josh Sullivan of 52 Friends (http://www.myspace.com/fiftytwofriends) insists he's not gettin' any during his Kerouac-esque year-long road trip and tells the boys about a scary experience with one of the hosts who let 'em sleep on their couch for a week. 24:02 - Jedi says (http://www.guardian.co.uk/world/2009/sep/18/jedi-religion-tesco-hood-jones) Tesco discriminated against him 26:43 - Art answers your questions (http://www.lessernerds.com/ask/), admits to a sexually transmitted threepeat the Nerds yes